GET RICH OR DIE TRYING, AFRICAN STYLE!

 GET RICH OR DIE TRYING, AFRICAN STYLE!

GET RICH OR DIE TRYING, AFRICAN STYLE!

There are many ways to getting riches, and Africans have been scheming their way to wealth, since before the invention of the infamous get rich or die trying slogan. In order to get in, where you fit in, there are some crucial rules to follow. But before you make it to opulence, you have to know that being your authentic self is a dream killer, and anybody preaching to you of the same, either has not made it in life, or has given up on life. Anyway, you have to be both book smart and street smart, in order to attract the kind of wealth you desire. Similarly, it is not easy to cheat your way into riches, as there are many rivers to cross, to get to Richland. Nonetheless, if you are a brave heart, then there is nothing impossible for you to achieve in your lifetime. All you have to do is, follow the golden rabbit, into its rich nesting burrow. 

First and foremost, you need a good education, to match your new found title, as well as your killer moniker, should you wish to make it to Richville. Who in Africa, pray tell, does not respect a learned fellow, by the name of Barrister Koffi Mensa or Doctor Nina Okello? All you have to do is let all the clergy of your parent church, in on your budding achievements, while rubbing their influential hands with some gold butter, and watch how they break forth and sing your praises to their congregation, and the entire community. What’s more, if you need to go to the top right quick, then the Church is the place to go, for there is nothing more beneficial like free publicity, and we all could use the available connections out there. Secondly, you have to know how to blend in with all your connections. Here, charm and charisma are the tools of trade you put to use, in order to solidify your networks. Society says that flattery will get you anywhere, so therefore, flattery is the skill you must use to get into the hearts of your major networks. While flattery is one of the keys, which opens the door to wealthy places, on the other hand, charm and charisma are other keys that help you stay in those rich spaces.

Do you still want to get rich, or die trying? Well, the skills mentioned above, are the tricks of the trade you will need to master, in order get to the very core of that wealthy mine. Once you have access to some solid connections, the third most crucial thing to do is, to learn how to season your speeches. In other words, learn how to conversate like an aristocrat, and while you are at it, bourgie your way to Suburbia. What this means is that fake an accent, any accent, as long as it is foreign, preferably American, which is common, widespread, and much easier on the African tongue. However, do not go into far deep with it, as you may break into barriers, you cannot lift yourself from. You may not believe this, but here in Africa, people who have a western education, are perceived to be smart, well-cultured, and polished intellectuals. Therefore, in your quest to get rich or die trying, there is need to embellish all your credentials, in order to suit your new acquired accent.

Needless to say, do not attempt to adapt a British accent, as it is quite a challenge for Africans to master it correctly. That is the reason why the American accent is the go-to accent for any African who wants to fake it, to make it. Consequently, when your new found accent correlates with your credentials, then step three comes to play, where you chase for that gold mine job of your dreams. At this point, your connections come in handy, however do not pursue a top-level job position without the proper networks on the ground. In a word, you have to be strategic in how you manoeuvre your way to the top, and sheer luck does not get you where you need to go half of the time. In short, you need a straight connect, someone who will get you to the door, and into your dream destination. However, this is not an easy task to achieve, as you have to be street savvy, in order to get the breakthrough, you desire. But once your tricks and treats get you through the door, then you will have struck a gold mine, that will grant you access to a life full of endless possibilities.

Meanwhile, this is a word of caution for all you that are haggling for wealth and power, is that it is not easy to stay on top, once you get there. Hence, your benevolence will play a part in you staying at the top, and by benevolence, I do mean playing the charity card. To put it plainly, you have to give, in order to receive. This clearly means that you must publicize your good deeds, and particularly so on social media, in order to survive, as part of your get rich, or die trying quick scheme. Again, it is not easy to stay on top of your game by sheer luck. Consequently, you must use what you have, to get what you want, and stay where you are.

However, if all else fails, then the quickest way to the top is either marrying into wealth, or selling your soul for material wishes. Keep in mind that the devil does not care about your education, credentials, beauty, or fake accent. On the contrary, he wants your most precious possession, in order to grant you all your wishes, and make your dreams come true. Again, how badly do you want to get rich? Just know that through this devilish path, it will cost you everything, including your very life, just to make it to the top. Thus, remember that there is nothing for nothing, in the devil's lair, as you must pay heavily, in order to eat out of his pot.

Finally, there may be a better way to getting rich, without killing yourself in the process. However, this path does not include all the above shenanigans, for it is a long and winding process to get to the proverbial Canaan. Similarly, this path is narrow, and with deep lessons to learn from. Also, this path requires a close walk with God, one that is built on faith, patience, and a healthy prayer life. Needless to say, there are no short cuts, or cutting corners, when building lasting wealth. This is the reason why many people do not like this narrow path, for it is boring, tedious, and mostly time consuming. Nonetheless, this narrow path is one that ultimately leads one to great and lasting wealth.

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