A BLAST FROM THE PAST AND REBOUNDS

A BLAST FROM THE PAST AND REBOUNDS

After two divorces, six children, and two alimony payments, all over sudden Kunle, my soul kryptonite, has had an epiphany about us. He wants us to reconcile and relive our part-time love all over again. I guess rejection, is God's protection, right? Well, it is most definitely a rebound proposal on Kunle's part for sure. Of all his past ex-factors, he only thought to call me, for a reunion. Yet, once upon a time, Kunle was convinced that Mera, his first wife, was the one, his divine rib, until she viciously dragged him to court, wringed his pockets, and took him for all he had. Then he met Doro, who broke his heart, and left him struggling financially.

Now, he has become a nuisance, blowing up Betty Baijun's phone as if his life depended upon me. At this point, I am not sure whether to laugh at the irony, or cry at his selfish intent. Furthermore, Kunle is hoping that I will still be smitten enough to set myself on fire, in order to keep him warm. Nonetheless, I am still ignoring his never-ending calls for a reunion, as I do not wish to meddle in Kunle's emotional affairs. I also do not want to keep biting the poison apple, which keeps making me sick, to the point of losing my senses. Besides, I am trying to move on from my past, after twenty years of still trying to move on. I even turned into an ice queen, in order to wade off his advances, but unfortunately, for me, all the ice melted to water, with a simple hello on his part.

What can I say? I am seriously whipped, and totally sprung on Kunle. Yet, he insists that I am not being fair to him, by persistently rejecting his obvious attempts to bag me once again. Kunle is relentlessly trying to offer me his cup of love, yet the cup seems broken, and the love is non-existent. All his lies, fairy tales, and fallacies are still ringing loud in my head years on end. Thus, I am not trying to be anyone's rebound, even though Kunle is bent on forcing me into that sticky situation.

"Look Kunle, I have issues of my own, and therefore, I do not care to bear yours!” I told him off loudly inside my head, and deep within my thoughts. I obviously cannot voice out my reservations about him to his face, for the reasons that; I am too chicken to do so, and it is rude to do so, and that he is clearly in a pickle. The truth is that I cave every time I am in Kunle's presence, and after two long decades, this man still has a hold on me. In fact, it is because of him, that I cringe hard at love songs, and everything sentimental, for it is a cold reminder of unfulfilled love, which always leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

Fortunately, for me, I moved far away from my hometown, therefore, Kunle would not know how to locate me, no matter how hard he tried, that is, unless he went fishing for my private information amidst my siblings. Darn! This man wants me to flip and transform me into that naïve school girl once, again for his own barbaric pleasure. Nevertheless, I will not give in to his trappings. Rather, I must stay the cause, stand my ground, ignore his existence, until he gives up, and moves on to someone else. Strangely, I wonder why I am so tempted by this ex-factor. Why am I not able to let him down easy, by lying to him that I am happily committed in my non-existent relationship? "Kunle, I am sorry but I am seeing someone and we are very happy together!” is the set plan on my mind to lie to Kunle, in case we accidentally bump into each other.

The truth is that I do not wish to be the next ex-wife of Kunle, not that he has ever asked me to be his wife, though I am anticipating his next move, which is also a fantasy running through my head. Nevertheless, what is wrong with me? I am a well-bred, educated, and hyper-independent type of lass, therefore, I do not need Kunle to come and shake my kingdom down, by making me crumble at his handsome face and charming smile. On the contrary, I should in fact give other few good men a chance at my love, and stop daydreaming about this disheartened brother. What's more, it is bad enough that I have issues of vulnerability, and it is even worse that Kunle keeps swinging back at one, to poke at my wounds.

That is why I am constantly running away from him, putting up walls, and fortifying my boundaries, just in case of any possible triggers on my part. Hence, I really must emotionally move on from Kunle, and completely, and permanently end this cycle of an emotional roller coaster. Actually, I am well deserving of good loving, than breadcrumbs, with a sip of cheap ale. "I hate to do this to you Kunle, but I must move on, for my own sake", said I to Kunle deep within my thoughts. As a result, I am finally releasing myself from the friend zone, which Kunle had conveniently pushed me into for years, and taking all the benefits with me. No more playing nice, freely giving all of myself, and getting nothing in return.

Furthermore, it is high time that I google on how to take an eat, pray, love journey, for the sake of my future. As for Kunle, he has no choice but to lean on his other friends or family. I bet you that my girls will be proud of me, for finally taking a stand against my never-ending entanglement with Kunle. "You deserve better Betty Baijun. Leave that ungrateful man in the dust, where he belongs", spoke the voices of all my caring friends to me, inside my head. I am mostly proud of me, for finally learning how to love myself. It is a slow journey though, but I am taking it one day at a time. However, I am still afraid of reverting back to my old ways of being Kunle's backup plan but in case I do, please pray for me, or slap me senseless, whichever way you prefer, if only to bring me back to reality.

At this point, I could blame the devil for always dragging Kunle back into my life, every time I feel ready to walk on sunshine. Yet, just when I am at the brink of moving to better people, places, and things, Kunle re-appears into my life, like the ghost from the past. Yet, as soon as I am caught up again in the rapture of Kunle's unrequited love, he turns ghost on me again, and once again, I return to that sunken place, where I am left to pick up the pieces of my broken heart.

Well, it does not matter anymore, for this moment in time; I am determined to have my happy ending, now that I have learnt to love myself unconditionally, because I am a queen. "Goodbye Kunle, and I do wish you nothing but peace and happiness", I finally bid farewell to Kunle in my heart. Whoever said that freedom is coming tomorrow was right. My tomorrow begins today, with a happy smile and a merry heart. Therefore, perhaps I will be together with Kunle in the next lifetime. However, for now, I am ready for a new start, I am willing to go the distance, and I am definitely determined to ride this life, on my newfound wings!