A VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL; AFRO-HUSBANDS ON THE SPO

A VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL; AFRO-HUSBANDS ON THE SPOT

Just ask any African man to make plans of wining and dining you on a Valentine's Day, and the crude answer you will receive will not impress you at all. To most African men, Lover's Day is like any other regular day on the calendar, with nothing special on it. If majority of our African men are not making money out of this rosy day or somehow benefitting off of it, then they could care less about it. All the same, I do not really blame them as such, for most African men hail from the school of hard knocks, and are therefore not accustomed to celebrating love. As a matter of fact, to most African men, love is pain and struggle, while romance is the name of that old local dingy joint, of which they love to frequent.

Consequently, try to gather courage and ask your rural born workaholic husband to make romantic plans for Valentine's Day, and he will look at you like the goose that laid the plastic eggs. "Who is Valentine's Day and what does he want from us?" This infuriating question is usually the reply that most wives get in response, already used to this kind of utter cluelessness by their village bred spouses, so much so that many gave up on the need to commemorate this auspicious day.

Then there are those religious husbands who regard Valentine's Day as a pagan holiday, burying it in a myriad of scriptures, and tossing it in the trash, alongside the devil. As a result, their wives cannot utter a word about the love holiday, as it is non-biblical. "Show me where in the bible does it encourage us saints of God to celebrate Valentine's Day? Therefore, if it is not in the bible, it is an act of defiance against God! Infact, it is sacrilege!” said the zealot to his beloved wife. My advice to all you wives married to these fanatics, is to honor the Lover's Day, albeit discreetly, or else you all just might end up with heathen labels on your foreheads, and ultimately blacklisted from matrimony.

How about those frugal husbands, whose money is a rare specimen like the white rhino? In actual fact, their money barely sees the sun, for they are hard-core stingy, always claiming to be saving for a rainy day. “Where is the money for celebrating Valentine's Day going to stem from in these harsh economic times?!" That is the uncouth question mainly paused by these scrooge breed of men, to their poor wives. How I pity those women married to such chronic misers. As a result, I will recommend that all you missuses to practice self-love, by spoiling yourselves rotten every Valentine's Day. On this note, I will also urge all you ladies to not waste your time praying for a Valentine's miracle on behalf of your mates. Rather, just accept your mingy partners for who they are, and instead make the Lover's Day count for yourselves.

Next, we have a group of broke husbands, who are borderline poor. These are the ones who penny-pinch everything, including the table salt. With these group of companions, it will do all you wives good to accept, compromise, and do yourselves the favour of sharing your valentine treats with your partners, because lack limits these sort of husbands from acquiring the resources needed to romance you. In essence, stay patient ladies and pray hard for God to prosper your struggling partners, while you both prepare to honour your love on the beautiful Valentine's Day.

Then we have the subservient husbands who celebrate Valentine's Day, just to keep the peace at home. To them, Valentine's Day is a day they must plan for, should they want to stay married. Therefore, they go along to get along with their dominant wives. In fact, they have the bloody day marked red on the calendar, so as not mess up their peaceful lives. These men are the ones that hold on to the slogan of happy wife, happy life. On that delightful day of love, they will pull out their routine of; buying red roses, a box of chocolate, plan a dinner date, and a hotel suite for the grand finale. To their wives, Valentine's Day is the ultimate showdown of the year, but to these compliant partners, Valentine's Day, just like all birthdays, is a planned routine for which they check off their to do lists. Yikes!

Additionally, we have the wounded warrior husbands that operate solely on logic, because they choose to be emotionally detached. These are insecure souls, who have had their hearts broken a few times before, who see the love glass as being completely empty, with abandonment issues, who do not believe in love, and whose hearts are caged inside an ice box. These ones do not respond to any love stimuli whatsoever, for fear of being vulnerable to the love bug. Therefore, Valentine's Day to them is full of bad memories, on top of being a fraudulent money trap. If you are a wife dealing with a broken spouse, then it is best to keep reassuring them that not everyone is a monster like their treacherous ex-lovers Caro, Nelly, and Stacey. As for celebrating Valentine's Day, well, baby steps will do for now. Hence, all I can say to you is good luck with that my dear.

Lastly, we have those passionate husbands that were guided to become gentlemen, men who are rare gems indeed. These ones have been commissioned by the universe to treat women like royalty. These rare human species make it their business to remember every special occasion concerning their beloved wives. To these loving husbands, everyday is a Valentine's Day. As a matter of fact, these precious souls need not to be reminded of any impending special events, for they almost always plan them all ahead of time. These earth angels deserve a grand place among the stars that brightly shine like diamonds in the sky, for being such extra-ordinary human beings.

How I do pray for all you my sisters to encounter solid gems, as those aforementioned, who will make every day of your lives feel like a Valentine's Day. As for me, it is my wish that my future husband will be the kind to always gift me with a black rose, aside lighting a candle, and saying a prayer for me every Lover's Day, as a show his underlying love for me, for that is all I will ever ask of him. To conclude, I wish you all a memorable Valentine's Day.