A VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL; AFRO-HUSBANDS ON THE SPOT
Just ask any African man to make plans of wining and dining you on a Valentine's Day, and the crude answer you will receive will not impress you at all. To most African men, Lover's Day is like any other regular day on the calendar, with nothing special on it. If majority of our African men are not making money out of this rosy day or somehow benefitting off of it, then they could care less about it. All the same, I do not really blame them as such, for most African men hail from the school of hard knocks, and are therefore not accustomed to celebrating love. As a matter of fact, to most African men, love is pain and struggle, while romance is the name of that old local dingy joint, of which they love to frequent.
Consequently, try to gather courage
and ask your rural born workaholic husband to make romantic plans for
Valentine's Day, and he will look at you like the goose that laid the plastic
eggs. "Who is Valentine's Day and what does he want from us?" This
infuriating question is usually the reply that most wives get in response,
already used to this kind of utter cluelessness by their village bred spouses,
so much so that many gave up on the need to commemorate this auspicious day.
Then there are those religious
husbands who regard Valentine's Day as a pagan holiday, burying it in a myriad
of scriptures, and tossing it in the trash, alongside the devil. As a result,
their wives cannot utter a word about the love holiday, as it is non-biblical. "Show
me where in the bible does it encourage us saints of God to celebrate
Valentine's Day? Therefore, if it is not in the bible, it is an act of defiance
against God! Infact, it is sacrilege!” said the zealot to his beloved wife.
My advice to all you wives married to these fanatics, is to honor the Lover's
Day, albeit discreetly, or else you all just might end up with heathen labels
on your foreheads, and ultimately blacklisted from matrimony.
How about those frugal husbands,
whose money is a rare specimen like the white rhino? In actual fact, their
money barely sees the sun, for they are hard-core stingy, always claiming to be
saving for a rainy day. “Where is the money for celebrating Valentine's Day
going to stem from in these harsh economic times?!" That is the uncouth
question mainly paused by these scrooge breed of men, to their poor wives. How
I pity those women married to such chronic misers. As a result, I will
recommend that all you missuses to practice self-love, by spoiling yourselves
rotten every Valentine's Day. On this note, I will also urge all you ladies to
not waste your time praying for a Valentine's miracle on behalf of your mates.
Rather, just accept your mingy partners for who they are, and instead make the
Lover's Day count for yourselves.
Next, we have a group of broke
husbands, who are borderline poor. These are the ones who penny-pinch
everything, including the table salt. With these group of companions, it will
do all you wives good to accept, compromise, and do yourselves the favour of
sharing your valentine treats with your partners, because lack limits these
sort of husbands from acquiring the resources needed to romance you. In
essence, stay patient ladies and pray hard for God to prosper your struggling
partners, while you both prepare to honour your love on the beautiful
Valentine's Day.
Then we have the subservient
husbands who celebrate Valentine's Day, just to keep the peace at home. To
them, Valentine's Day is a day they must plan for, should they want to stay
married. Therefore, they go along to get along with their dominant wives. In
fact, they have the bloody day marked red on the calendar, so as not mess up
their peaceful lives. These men are the ones that hold on to the slogan of
happy wife, happy life. On that delightful day of love, they will pull out
their routine of; buying red roses, a box of chocolate, plan a dinner date, and
a hotel suite for the grand finale. To their wives, Valentine's Day is the
ultimate showdown of the year, but to these compliant partners, Valentine's
Day, just like all birthdays, is a planned routine for which they check off
their to do lists. Yikes!
Additionally, we have the wounded
warrior husbands that operate solely on logic, because they choose to be
emotionally detached. These are insecure souls, who have had their hearts
broken a few times before, who see the love glass as being completely empty,
with abandonment issues, who do not believe in love, and whose hearts are caged
inside an ice box. These ones do not respond to any love stimuli whatsoever,
for fear of being vulnerable to the love bug. Therefore, Valentine's Day to
them is full of bad memories, on top of being a fraudulent money trap. If you
are a wife dealing with a broken spouse, then it is best to keep reassuring
them that not everyone is a monster like their treacherous ex-lovers Caro,
Nelly, and Stacey. As for celebrating Valentine's Day, well, baby steps will do
for now. Hence, all I can say to you is good luck with that my dear.
Lastly, we have those passionate
husbands that were guided to become gentlemen, men who are rare gems indeed.
These ones have been commissioned by the universe to treat women like royalty.
These rare human species make it their business to remember every special occasion
concerning their beloved wives. To these loving husbands, everyday is a
Valentine's Day. As a matter of fact, these precious souls need not to be
reminded of any impending special events, for they almost always plan them all
ahead of time. These earth angels deserve a grand place among the stars that
brightly shine like diamonds in the sky, for being such extra-ordinary human
beings.
How I do pray for all you my
sisters to encounter solid gems, as those aforementioned, who will make every
day of your lives feel like a Valentine's Day. As for me, it is my wish that my
future husband will be the kind to always gift me with a black rose, aside
lighting a candle, and saying a prayer for me every Lover's Day, as a show his
underlying love for me, for that is all I will ever ask of him. To conclude, I
wish you all a memorable Valentine's Day.
