LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD FROM THE AFRO-UNIVERSE
Little red would not take kindly to anthropomorphic animals impersonating her relatives. Like
I told you many times before, Africans do not believe in ghosts, fairies or
talking animals. Once we encounter the above mentioned, we either fall in
formation for a spiritual battle, or we take the most primal action and run for
the hills.
Anyhow, Little Red from the Afro-universe
will not cower in the face of a lycan pretending to be her grandmother. Once
she smells his shape-shifting odour, she will strike that werewolf in a swoop, engage him in a galactic
combat, skin his mane, and fry him for lunch or dinner, depending on the angle of
the African sun.
Speaking of which, Little Red’s grandmother from the afro-universe would be one sharp
magician, with the ability to call rain from a
shrub. Trust me, that wolf would not dare enter granny’s house, cross-dress in
her night gown, and jump in her sacred bed. What? Oh, no! Nana would have already seen Wolfie approaching, and magically disorganized his trail of thought, and have him chase after butterflies
and rainbows instead.
I believe that this is how the folklore of
the Little Red Riding Hood would have played out in the afro-universe. Are you ready for this
explosive re-make? But before I give you the sweet tea, here is a fun fact for
you all to embrace. Young Black Beauty Blue would be named so, on account of
her brazen skin that developed a blue shimmer whenever she stood under the rays
of the golden sun.
Once upon a time, centuries
ago when pre-colonial Africa was densely canopied under the equatorial rain
forest, one Young Black Beauty Blue rushed past the village kraals and into the
dense forest to save her grandmother from a ritual sacrifice by a pack of
blood-thirsty shape-shifting lycans. Armed to the teeth with; a bow and a
quiver full of poisoned arrows strapped to her back, clutching on to a spear
and shield, with a dagger firmly held on to her hide skirt, Young Black Beauty
Blue was determined to save her beloved Nana Buku.
She sped off towards the next
village, where her Nana resided, with her brothers in tow, racing past her to
beat time against those flesh-eating direwolves. Visions of her Nana Buku in
danger made her mad dash, feeling extremely fierce, and ready to battle the
coterie of sinister intruders.
Meanwhile, that babaric
lichen, leader of the treacherous pack of latrans, was baying for Nana Buku's
blood, desperately wanting to fuse his soul with hers, in order to siphon all
her magic powers for his own. So, he crept into her kraal and took her her a
hostage, awaiting for the other lycanthropes to join him in the ceremony,
during the fool moon.
As soon as Young Black Beauty
Blue and her brothers reached the bed of the sacred river, than a pack of lycos
appeared to stop them. The beasts outnumbered the siblings, and proceeded to
holler magic spells on the teenagers, in order to weaken their powers.
The hollering of the wolves
was so loud that their ears spotted blood, as they became deaf to any form of
sound. Nonetheless, Young Black Beauty Blue was not about to give up the fight.
Despite of the ringing pain in her head, she let out a loud war cry that
summoned the gods forth in to battle.
Papa Sango, the most powerful
of the gods appeared in the flesh as a crouching tiger, accompanied by a
multitude of ancestral spirits and deities, to rescue the wounded warriors. The
werewolves went to war with the ancestors but they were no match for the
legends, therefore were all slayed, their carcasses dumped in the sacred river
and swept adrift.
Then the shamans and warlocks
appeared to minister healing on to the teenagers. But there was no time to
waste, for Nana Buku was still in danger. All the forces, both visible and
invisible crossed the sacred river on to the next village, where Nana Buku was
held captive. When the lichen perceived the invisible army approaching his
vicinity, he attempted to swallow Nana Buku alive but before he could, the
ancestors took hold of him, tied a rope to his neck, set him ablaze, and
sacrificed him to their gods.
I warned you people before
that this bright red fairytale turns cold blue, takes a left overturn, and
mutates into a folklore, soon as it hits the afro-sphere, for there are too
many cultural laws, set traditions, hard-core beliefs, as well as invisible
forces to contend within the afro-verse.
In the afro-universe, things
are normally not that complicated, except for spirituality, and then it is
survival for the fittest. That is the law of our African jungles, which are now
practically touristic theme parks, ever since independence. Hence, I highly
doubt that Young Black Beauty Blue, together with our ancestors will be able to
find their way home in the heavily built concrete jungles of Africa. Perhaps
time travel into afro-universe will do for them, should they wish to visit
home.
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