WHO SHOT THE SHERRIFF??

 WHO SHOT THE SHERRIFF??

Who shot the Sherriff? Well, I have  finally managed to crack into this cold case and came to the truth of the age-old question that has been distressing many of you, since that fateful day, eons ago, when a blue-blood was ganged down in cold blood by a red blood. However, I must make it clear that this murder mystery is not entirely in correlation with Nester’s public confession to gunning down a Sherriff, but rather a bold look into who really shot the Sherriff.

Yet, before I make this public announcement, I must warn you all that my perception into this murder mystery is based off on hypermnesia, a special ability I supposedly have, that allows me to vividly recall the past.  Ok people, let us not dwell on the percentages of the accuracy of my gifting but rather fixate on its effectiveness to see way into past time and uncover hidden truths that are beyond scientific zones. Therefore, any of you who dare counter my truth findings will consequently encounter my wrath. You all have been warned.

Now, are you all ready for the whole truth, as to who shot the Sherriff? It was his villainess ex-wife Foxy that put a bullet through the Sherriff’s head without flinching, then turned around and framed her part-time lover, the Sheriff’s deputy, who solely took the blame for it.

So much for trying to change a moll from living the thug life, by turning her into a house wife. The saying is true, that you can take a wife and form a wretch but you cannot take a wretch and form a wife, right? Foxy was a bonafide assassin and murder she wrote on the Sherriff’s grave. It is a cold world out here people.

That blue collar career had the Sherriff walking in that crime-infested ghost town like he was superman, yet the bounty on his head was executed by his very own kryptonite. All the while, he thought that Foxy was a damsel in distress, yet it turned out that he was the one in need of salvation. She had him whipped from the get-go, played him like a toy, and duped him, hook, line, and sinker into her web of lies and destruction. A blue blood exterminated by a red blood? I swear, ain’t that a kick in the head?  I pity men out here.

However, it truly was the Sheriff’s deputy that I felt sorry for. That innocent man was played for a fool, fell for the seductress, and literally chained himself to the devil. Perhaps the sex magic overpowered him or maybe the voodoo overwhelmed him right into his demise. To best simplify it, the guy was just caught up in a love triangle that was a misfire, which led him on the highway to hell.

Then who shot the Sheriff’s deputy? If Foxy did not axe him, then who did? A mystery for the ages, that even time travel has not permitted me to come close to a solid answer. Nonetheless, I can loosely  deduce that only the crime warlords are guilty of this heinous crime. In actuality, the warlords, those blood-thirsty mercenaries, were behind the death of the Sheriff, by sending a siren to do their dirty job. All they wanted was the key to that dirt town, and the blue bloods were standing in the way of their dream.

Hence, the Sheriff and his deputy paid the ultimate price, in order to make room for those guerrilla soldiers, in order that their takeover would be complete. Yet, it does not make any sense as to why the warlords formulated a plot to kill the Sheriff, when they could have just ousted him out of office and ran him out of town?

Perhaps their “Shoot first then ask questions later.” policy is what they were working with at the time, as they were famously known for not being such great thinkers during their reign of terror. Thus, their plans were majorly bum-rushed and not well thought through. After the Sheriff and his deputy departed to be with the Lord, the government of the day swopped into the dirt town, rid it of all its critters, cleaned up the entire force, and injected it with more blue blood.

What of Foxy? Well, in all honesty, she killed the best thing that ever happened to her, and got caught up in the government’s spring cleaning. If I was in her shoes, I would have ditched the guerrilla gang for marital bliss, and a happily ever after with the beloved Sherriff. Afterall, nothing came of her being Lady Cruella, in conjunction with the suicide squad. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I tell you, crime did not pay Foxy at all.

Regardless, nobody rutted her out as the Sheriff’s killer, all thanks to the blood oath she partook with her fellow marauders. In the end, she officially became a drifter, unable to unhook from the life of crime, until her death. Yes people, now that we know the truth, let us forgive those who have burned us, burry all our hatchets, pay our respects to the dead, and live our lives in perpetual peace, as God intended. Rest in power Sheriff. Cold case completely closed.