WHAT’S IN MY BUCKET LIST?

 WHAT’S IN MY BUCKET LIST?

All the daredevil activities that afro-black people fear to engage in, is in my bucket list this decade. I am hoping to indulge in all of them, soon as I get rid of all my phobias and prejudices, which is sometime maybe never. Who knows? By the time I hit the big fifty, I need to have at least tried some of the ventures on my bucket list, more so because I do not want to live with the regret of never having lived a little.

Bungee-jumping is on the very top of my wish list. Nonetheless, it is a risky attempt, that requires recalibration of my thought-process, in order for it to be achieved. I want to be able to bungee-jump but what if the flexi-chord snaps mid-air and I end up without a head? I mean, anything can happen in between the freefall, and I am not about to give the devil ammunition to take me out before my time. Besides, my youngin has not clocked the age of accountability. She still needs her mother and I am her only parent. Thus, I must sit this one out, at least until an appointed time, even if I am too old to die young.

Perhaps, I may attempt to engage in  mountain or rock climbing. Yet seriously, who wakes up one morning and decides to go climb a mountain? Nonetheless, I am willing to climb the shortest mountain I can find, for this activity is also on my bucket list. At least I will be able to tell people that I did climb up a mountain, if a future conversation required it. But for now, baby steps will get me to try and climb a small rock, before engaging a whole mountain, so help me God.

Before I proceed to go rock-climbing, I will first try to skate. Well, skating is not really a white man’s activity, yet I cannot think of any black skaters on top of my head as beacons that would encourage me to indulge in this leg-filled activity. I may be able to try it once, hoping that my legs will carry me through it all. But on second thought, am I not too old to be on roller-skates? When a middle-aged woman is posing a philosophical question to herself amidst piercing thoughts, just know that the answer is most likely no can do. Besides, I need my legs, especially in my old age. So, no can do, unless I am heavily paid to do it, then I will take the risk. Otherwise, skating is a no for me.

How about Kayaking? Well, this one will require me to learn how to swim. Yes people, I need to learn how to swim first. Unfortunately for me, I did not learn how to swim but I am willing to learn, for it is never too late. Therefore, I will soon enrol myself for swimming lessons and before you know it, I will be kayaking across Athi-River, if it has not yet dried up. Well, what do you know, I believe that  Ms. Betty has found her niche, yet not so fast. Let us just say that all in good time, and leave it at that.

Embarking on horse-riding also seems like a great idea, until it is not. Riding a horse is a tall order for me. I mean, I am able to but I do not want to. What if I fall off the horse? What if the horse kicks me? What if the horse hates me? I would rather ride on a camel, for camels are gentle souls. But a horse? Well, maybe if I slowly ease myself into it. Actually, I will not knock it, until I try it. In fact, let me think about it first before I make any final decisions.

Riding on a hot air balloon sounds magical too. Sure, I would ride on a hot air balloon any day, as long as I carry with me a rifle, two parachutes, two portable phones, packed food, and a copy of my existing will, for anything can happen, and I need to be ready for when anything happens. If white people have taught us anything, is that we are better off safe than sorry.

Camping in the woods is a trivia. I can hear massive laughter coming from all the afro descendants, making a mockery at my willingness to go camping. It may not be in my dna but I should at least try it, right? But first, I will need to google-search the importance of camping in the woods, before I take my chances with the wolves and she-bears. But wait, are there bears in Africa? I only know of mountain lions and laughing hyenas. Speaking of lions, camping in the woods is a no for me, for I am not looking to get mauled by an angry lioness in the bushes. Unless it is work-related, like I am getting paid to gather content for the national geographic channel. Otherwise, camping in the woods is a serious no for me.