TOLBERT KAMNYWESO
If audacity was a person, then it would have to be one Tolbert Kamnyweso, the Don Juan extraordinaire. Rumour has it that his mother was granted a wish fourty five years ago, by a mermaid, of birthing a unique male child with special abilities. Nine months into the alleged prophesy, out came Tolbert Kamnyweso, the world’s most serial monogamist this side of the Sahara. It is not certain what his life purpose was meant to be but in his pompous opinion, Tolbert’s greatest life-long vision is to cast his love net wide, and make a great catch of the most beautiful women, whether it be by hook or crook.
Indeed, women are both a gift and a sport
to Tolbert Kamnyweso, what with his great looks, suave moves, and mystic words,
play a magical role of swopping them off their pretty feet and landing them in
the devil’s dungeon hook, line, and sinker. This smooth operator is more than
ever determined to draw as many ladies as he can onto his love boat. What’s
more, this lady killer believes that he is rendering a service to humanity, by
taking on the challenge of helping the lasses to feel loved, because somewhat the
male species is dwindling by the day. As a result, he does not want the ladies
to loose out on experiencing love, as long as he is alive and well able to
conjure up love moments, albeit for momentary satisfaction.
Nonetheless, trust this kahuna not to
commit to anything or anyone. It is always a hard hit and miss with Tolbert,
for he does not stick around long enough to get caught up in emotional
sentiments. Once he hunts down his prey and grants them a dose of his love and
affection, he quickly moves on to his next target, even before the thrill of
the chase simmers. In short, you will catch Tolbert dead before he commits to
any living thing, be it a plant or an animal.
What’s more, Tolbert Kamnyweso hates the
idea of being labelled as a boyfriend, husband or partner, for these general
titles limit his potentiality to be generous with the ladies. Instead, he
prefers the title of a lover, which makes him feel complete and tapped into his
self-imposed life purpose. Moreover, a great hunter this Kamnyweso is. His
hobby is to traverse all races and cultures of diverse women. He is an all time
lover, never picky but especially prefers spring chicken, though does not mind
to affiliate himself with cougars, for love is love, and he for one is
determined to let his love shine throughout the world.
Addicted to muscle shirts, Levi jeans, and a
myriad of women, the free-spirited wayward Casanova, has no remorse nor regrets
about his womanizing ways. Actually, it is all about absolute freedom with
Tolbert. Take everything from him but never his will to live freely and uninhibited.
Never you try to push Tolbert into a relationship, for he will choke to death
with the idea of rings, vows, and contracts that have the ability to bind him
to a dark corner. He cannot even commit to living with and caring for a pet,
let alone a full grown woman. The idea of always and forever is to Tolbert like
being confined in a prison, without a safe outlet, something which he runs and
hides from.
One beautiful siren had once tried to
condition Tolbert into holy matrimony, by promising him that she can be every
woman for him, yet soon as she uttered the word forever to his hearing, than
Tolbert bolted out of that potential relationship for good. Perhaps it is how
she said it that made him cringe with fear of missing out on philandering with
other beautiful souls. Better yet, maybe it was the future part of being tied
down long-term to one individual that made him sick to his stomach.
Equally, his family encourages him to enter
into a polygamous liaison, if that will get him to settle down and have a
family, still Tolbert is adamant of being single until the day God releases him
from his assignment. He also not pressed on having children, although his
desire is to have as many as he possibly can, when the time is right. At fourty
five years of age, Tolbert is convinced that his youth is still intact and has
more years to live out his purpose before tapping into fatherhood.
Needless to say, Tolbert is persuaded that his
alter-ego is fighting to keep him in singletude by messing with his mental
faculties. Therefore, he feels the need to engage the services of those
beautiful female prophetesses, if only to rid him of his obsessions. Nonetheless,
as an outsider looking into the life of this lothario, I would recommend a serious
hypnosis therapy, coupled with an equally heavy spiritual cleanse, and a couple
of priestly exorcists to drive out the demons from Tolbert, and keep his sensuality
in check.
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