SIR, PLEASE BEWARE OF MISS DELILAH

 

SIR, PLEASE BEWARE OF MISS DELILAH

So, you prefer Delilah to Sara? You do believe that Sara is a boring plain Jane church girl, who cannot not tickle your fancy or ignite a fiery passion within you. Instead, you prefer that sultry seductress, who loves to bend your mind and break your heart. You do not mind if she tears you in pieces, just as long as she carries the pieces of you with her.

Yet, with all her villain potency, Delilah is not your type, and neither is she on your level. She prefers dragons to angels, a fact which you cannot change, even if you tried to. In your wildest fantasy, you wish that Sara would embody Delilah, yet you know too well that if wishes were horses, Delilah would never beg you to ride her coattail a day in your life. Infact, she hates your guts and no matter how many times you throw money at her, you know that she has her sights set on the flaming dragons.

Nonetheless, Sara is your perfect match. Actually, Sara is the female version of you; modest, educated, noveau riche, and average. Moreover, Sara loves you and wants to be with you. She is nurturing and a perfect specimen of a wife she will be for you. But do not keep her waiting for too long, as Gabriel has his eyes on her as well, desiring of an angel like him to settle down with. On the contrary, Delilah will not cook, clean or mess up her bloody claws for your comfort. Your mother will also not approve of Delilah, because she is pretty much disgusted by her deadly ambitions, and therefore would rather die fighting the she-devil, than watch you throw your life away to the dogs.

What’s more, Delilah is an alpha female, a femme fatal, capable of taking over the world. She will run you down, on her way to victory, and not feel sorry about it. Yet, you insist on extending your cup of love to her. Why would you, when clearly know of her destructive ways? Delilah is accepting of who she is, a cold-hearted rebel, who will not change for you or anybody else. Similarly, you cannot change enough to embody her traits, even if you wanted to. Death will be the outcome of you trying to commit your love to the devil. Sir, are you a sucker for pain? Because when Delilah finally sucks you dry and takes you to the cleaners, pain will be part of your everyday life.

On contraire, I just know that Sara is the one for you. She is your true soulmate, and you both are a match made in heaven. Equally, she is the divine connection you have always prayed for, and God has approved of your love for one another. Together, you are the most beautiful people on the planet, and together you will conquer and change the world. Additionally, there is nothing you will not achieve with Sara by your side. She will slay monsters on your behalf, and push Delilah back into the underworld, where she rightfully belongs. Yet, how can she fight Delilah, when you keep pining obsessively over her? Sir, do you still wish for that perfect life of abundance, with healthy children, two Rottweilers, and a family house with a picket fence? Then Sara is who you need to make your vision become a reality.

Nonetheless, should you remain lustful over Delilah and adamant to have her for keeps, then prepare for a lifetime of drama-filled adventures, coupled with a series of unfortunate events. Also, forget about having kids, because Delilah will never bend out of shape to birth your little nappy-headed rascals. But should you insist on having her for a wife, just know that you will not be the only one she will be rocking with. Seriously, help me to understand your fascination with Delilah. What does she have that Sara is lacking? She is just a woman as Sara, only less cultured. I am certain that it was not her looks and brains that draw you to her, for Sara is more of a beautiful genius.

Needless to say, you can forget about having both parties for wives, for even you know that your aspiration to have it all is a tall order and wishful thinking. Besides, it will be a cold day in hell before the two ladies will allow you to share their essences. Yet, I will not fault you for being a dreamer, for life is but a dream. Anyway, I will respect your wishes, bow out of your business, and learn to mind my own, as soon as your common senses start to function normally, for there is no way you are choosing the devil over an angel. Yet, why would you listen to me? I will instead step aside, and let experience be your greatest teacher.