OF BLIND DATES AND POTENTIAL PARTNERS; RULES KINGS SHOULD FOLLOW WHEN ON A BLIND DATE

 OF BLIND DATES AND POTENTIAL PARTNERS; RULES KINGS SHOULD FOLLOW WHEN ON A BLIND DATE

Young and decent single lads ought pride themselves in learning on how to make any date memorable. The rules of engagement are the same for both counterparts, yet I will extricate more for the male folk, as they also need maximum protection, especially when dealing with new potential partners. Yes, you are men and yes, you can protect yourselves but still, I do believe that prevention is better than a cure. Having proclaimed a retraction, let us drive straight into the subject matter.

First off, pick a decent location for the date, excluding your house, unless you desire to get robbed in broad daylight. Also, choose not your local kiosk, unless you want be a bachelor for the rest of your days. You know well and good that mama mboga will spill all your tea, literally trying to fight you because of the two hundred bob you owe her, as well as metaphorically tell all your business to every gossiper around town. As well, do not even think of parading your blind date around your neighbourhood, where both your boys and exes equally collide in one famous hot spot, because you already know that your favourite base is a den full of drama, and equally a recipe for disaster. In the same way, whatever you do, please avoid inviting your blind date to your parent’s house, on account of that is a creepy move even for you. Likewise, do not dare take your blind date to a sports bar, convenient enough for you to watch your favourite game, unless she is also a football fan, of which I highly doubt.

Instead, locate a nice and cosy location, where the scenery is posh and the ambience is just right for a smooth conversation, mixed with cool sultry music, accompanied by mouth-watering dishes, as you relax and observe her pleasant demeanour throughout the entire engagement. Best of all, show up in time, before she arrives on the scenery, or better yet, pick her up from her place of residence, and drive her to the picturesque spot. Otherwise, you will find another guy chatting up your potential wife, and all because you broke your watch, thereby could not keep time.

Another way to shine bright on a blind date, is to smell good. I urge you brother man to invest in a douche body wash, a designer cologne, or anything that leaves you smelling like a million bob. Else, nobody wants to inhale your natural musk, for your body sweat stinks. Comparably, pick up the tab, at the end of your date. That means, pay the bill. You must, for it is the gentleman’s way of letting her know that you care for her. Even if she orders for three full course meals, give her a handsome smile, offset the bill, before you quietly ghost her for good.

But whatever you do, do not request for a night cup on the first date, for your blind date could be a dark priestess, out on a prowl for her next organ victim. Therefore, be very mindful of your very life, else that highly anticipated night cap will be the very trap needed to take you out for good, and the day would be your last seen alive. Consequently, your organs will be found across the border, on their way to their new owner. Hence, be careful, and move real slow, for your own good.

While on a blind date, act intelligent. Do not tell stupid jokes that will get you blocked. Nobody wants to hear about MCA Tricky in between a scrumptious meal. No offense Tricky. You are hilarious. So, you are good at pottery and ceramics? Spare her the details, for she will crack her teeth with boredom. Also, do not tell her about your frat boy days. Rather, keep it a buck and interesting by letting her speak instead, if your stories veer on being sordid. Trust me, you will thank me in the future.

Equally, do not promise to buy her the earth, moon and stars, because you cannot afford these earth elements, as they are freely given to us by God Almighty. Besides, where are the rest of us supposed to live or move to, when you purchase the whole earth? There is no need for going all out for a blind date. At least take her on a second date, before you start making promises to her, which you should keep, hence she will regard you as a liar, and thus hastily dismiss you.

After a blissful date, send her a sweet text, after the date. Do not keep her waiting or make her second-guess your intentions toward her. Rather, thrive in being open and honest, instead of playing juvenile games, that will ruin your chances of securing a great and solid relationship.

Should you be open for a second date, let her know. Infact, text these words to her, “Hey, listen I had such a great time, that I am open for another date. Maybe we can plan for a second meet up. Let me  know whether you feel the same way.” I bet you that her response will just be as magnetic, with maximum enthusiasm. However, if you do not want a second date, then communicate kindly but not, “It is not you, its me. I am too good for you.” This type of egotistical response makes you a douche bag.

To conclude, go on a second date but make it more interesting than the first date. However, let the lady decide when next she would like to meet up with you. Still, keep an on-going regular communication, without the stalker energy rubbing on her free will. But in whatever you do, slow down your horses and permit me to breath fresh air, not mixed with your energy, before asking her out on a third date. Damn!