DETOX 102 FOR THE DIVORCED OR SEPARATED; HOW TO DODGE THE TOXIC EX-FACTOR

 DETOX 102 FOR THE DIVORCED OR SEPARATED; HOW TO DODGE THE TOXIC EX-FACTOR

While a single person can unceremoniously exit from the life of a past lover, it is not that easy for those who were once paired in holy matrimony, to permanently call it quits. What’s more, it is even harder to dodge toxic ex-partners, especially when children, joint business ventures or properties are involved. For this reason, we will have to dive deep in to some of the most fierce Jujitsu combat moves, in order to escape these hell-hole types of situationships, so help us Lord!

But before then, let me put out disclaimer for you all. Actually, I am not a counselling psychologist, and neither am I a therapist. Therefore, I may not be an expert on this touchy subject, since I have never been in a legal matrimonial bind. However, I have had a fare share of toxic cycles to last me lifetime. Thus, I can relate with most of you contending with former wicked partners. By the same token, I can speak of those solid examples of wise people known to me, who have conquered the battle with the nefarious and lived to tell of their story of how they prevailed and became victorious.

Now that we are in sync, allow me to proceed and give you my two cents on this delicate matter. For both the divorced and separated individuals, you must create a safe space for your own sanity. Moreover, you need to keep your distance, as well as effect strong boundaries around you, in order to escape your dangerous ex-partner, the one who does not understand the meaning of privacy. Also, block these individuals from your phones and your social media, if you want to lead a peaceful life, otherwise, there will be hell to pay, should you allow your toxic ex-partner to run wild and free at your expense. Afterall, they are a bygone for all the wrong reasons. Remember to always call, text  or e-mail when you need to or have to but keep it real short and professional.

Another power move for those divorced or separated from your karmic partners, is to make people, places, and things of authority your friends. Do you know of any security guards, chiefs, sub-chiefs, police officers, General Service Unit and Kenya Defense Force soldiers, lawyers or even judges? Make the aforementioned individuals your best friends, if you desire a harmonious life, otherwise your reckless baby mother will deal ruthlessly with you. Hence, if you cannot handle her sinister tactics, get the court to stand between the two of you, for peace to reign. Similarly, if you have a dodgy baby father, then make the court your best friend, and watch how untroubled your dealings will be.

As for your children, you will have to be the bigger person, and since you cannot take back the hands of time, perseverance is key, as far as co-parenting is concerned. You have to kill your ego, swallow your pride, tame your tounge, spend more of your time and money, fast and pray, and whatever else you have to do, for the sake of your innocent children. It will not be a walk in the park on this one, nevertheless, think first about the children, before you do anything rush or stupid against your vindictive ex-spouse, as a juvenile move on your part, is bound to backfire on you.

How about the shared properties? Again, for the sake of law and order, let the court decide for the both of you, and be amicable when it comes to sharing. Do not overly fight for material things like your entire life depended upon them. Rather, be the gentleman God called you to be, by granting a share of your wealth to your ungrateful ex-wife, and making your children heirs to your remaining portions of your riches. On the contrary, do not drag an ex-wife to court, because of her affluence. Rather, man up and go find your own gold, and leave hers alone, for she has young ones to fend for. Nonetheless, if you do not have children, then you are allowed to engage in full-on warfare.

Incase your ex comes up with a reconciliatory master plan, I urge you to trade with caution. Do not fall for any trickery, for it may just be a ruse to suck you back into their everyday drama. Besides, who wants to continuously be in a vicious cycle of never-ending conflict? That is what will happen to you, incase you are contemplating on going back into the devil’s den. You will not only loose your self-respect but more of you time, energy, money, stability or even your very own life.

Finally, do not be so quick as to jump in a new relationship, especially with a raw and bleeding heart. Take the time to nurse the heartache. Heck, take a year off, and to travel to Bali for a soul-search, if you can afford it. Yes, even Africans are allowed to eat, pray, love once in a while, therefore do not dismiss this ingenious move as a waste of time and money. Otherwise, why else are you busy working so hard for, if not for future comfort? So, to all you who are in this very predicament, take the warning and run with it, for your own good.