Celebrating Our Parents

 

THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR IN 2023

Celebrating Our Parents

As we celebrate our parents in every which way, showing our unconditional love to them for standing in support of us, so that we may grow to maturity, we also will not forget their comic relief moments in our lives Yet, if we were to compare our African parents to their white counterparts, then you will understand just how we were granted a raw deal. Say for example, my mother was angry at me for doing stupid things and wanted to severely warn me against another attempt at my continuous foolishness. She would then proceed to utter a warning that went like this; “If you dare do this wickedness again, I will strip before you and other people.” Yes, well that meant that a curse would befall me, should she decide to go naked before me and I was unfortunate enough to gaze at her nudity. I know that most African children, especially those born before the nineties and have been subject to such a threat. This kind of threat would cower one into submitting to the demands of their parents.

However, not so for our white counterparts. I mean, white children have been swimming half-naked in swimming pools with their folks all their lives, therefore such a threat would not hold water at all, no pun intended. It would not make sense at all for their parents to threaten them with nakedness, for this is their norm. Which makes me wonder, are we gauged by the same standards? Do the same traditional rules apply to them? Or are they meant only for Africans? The white people would probably think it is too extreme for parents to strip down, in order for their children to submit to them. Nevertheless, what does the bible say? I am sure God is in agreement with the African parents but not to the extent of cursing their children. This, I am sure.

Moreover African parents are known to influence or persuade their children into marriages. They do believe that it is their God-given duty to ensure that everybody is coupled up, so that they get to see their grandchildren before they could depart to join their ancestors. But if one of their children got out of line and decided to forge a path of their own, by taking the single route, and focusing instead on their career, then all hell will break loose upon that rebellious child. Any African belonging to generation w, x, and y know this all too well, that their parents would not hear of such singletude nonsense. To them, marriage surpasses any stinking career and they will never be afraid to tell it to your face. On the contrary, the white parents will embrace their children’s decisions, no matter what they decided to do in their lives. I can just hear them encouraging their child like, “We are so happy for you honey. We are here to support you in whatever you need.” They would even probably take photos, to capture that beautiful moment in time and even frame it for future references.

But not so with the African parents of the w, x, and y generations. The reason as to why they gave birth to you is that you procreate, reproduce or birth children, who will bear descendants to carry on their names. They do not mind being named ten times in a row, just as long as your children also bear their names. You may have achieved all the accolades in the world, and they would still drive you to the altar. Deep inside their hearts, they do believe that you have been jinxed, because to them, your decisions are abnormal. Incase you decide that you want to get married but do not want to sire or have children, then you know that parents of the w, x, and y generations will not have it. Again, the reason why they want you married is that you may have children that they may parade to their friends. But when you decide that you do not want to have children, they look at you sideways, like you are demon-possessed.  

They will ask you rude questions such as, “Are you normal?” or “Are you joking?” They cannot even begin to fathom the idea of a childless marriage. To them, your older sibling with five kids is doing much better than you, even though you single-handedly support her family behind the scenes. Nonetheless, the white parents will have a different reaction to such news by claiming, “If it is ok with you, it is ok with us. We will support all your decisions.” Meanwhile, the African parents, being so worried for you, have no choice but to engage a third party on your behalf, to “settle your spiritual problems” possibly with a spiritual leader, religious or otherwise, as long as the problem is solved.

The intentions of our parents, albeit being overly extreme, comes from a good place. This is their way of showing you love, whether you believe it or not. It might at times seem cruel or rude but it is love that is sincere. Perhaps this is how they were also taught to love and they are just returning the favour. Happy New Year to all our beloved parents!